*
Dir. Rob Marshall
This is one of those series that started off great, and got progressively worse. On Stranger Tides was so bad that I would've walked out of it if my little cousin wasn't there with me. The thing about this movie was its lack of believability. Now I am all for far-fetched stories, but it's the director's job to make me believe it.
The plot of this fourth installment is pretty jacked up in the first place, but it's made all the worse by Marshall's turning these well established characters into slapstick comedians. Picking up where the unwatchable At World's End left off, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) sets out to find the Fountain of Youth (even though he's been shot and stabbed countless times, he's still not immortal for some reason). On the way, he comes across a seductive woman from his past (Penelope Cruz), who plays a part in his origin. Then, just when I thought Hollywood couldn't get even more pathetic, they bring in (you ready for this) Blackbeard (Ian McShane)! Viewers are then forced to suffer through a subplot involving Mermaids, which look more like something out of a crappy horror film. A group of 12 year-olds could have constructed a better story.
Even the effects in this one sucked. The fight scenes were completely unoriginal, and dragged on way too long. It felt like Marshall was attempting to torture moviegoers because everything about this "film" was pathetic!
The essence of The Curse of the Black Pearl that made it so great was completely stripped away in this sequel. When you have a movie like this, comedic relief is necessary, but should not be the only element. That feeling of adventure and espionage so evident in Gore Verbinski's installments wasn't at all present in this one. There are a few blockbusters this summer that weren't great, but good enough to rent. Don't even waste your time with this garbage.
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